Actually, this was more funny than serious. My mom came over for dinner. About 60 seconds after SWHTL answered the door she pulled me aside and in panicked tones informed me "your uncle gave your mom a cigar to give to you. I told her to hide it!"

Unfortunately, all this happening in a small home meant that Troll, Jr. knew full well that something involving cigars was (a) going on and (b) that we were hiding it from him. So I used it as an opportunity to extend the lesson.

At the end of the night, I walked mom out to her car, explained the situation and accepted the cigar. Told her to thank my uncle for me. Then I went into the house, showed TJ the cigar, told him where I got it, and why his mom was worried about starting another fight. Then I threw it in the trash. Lesson: It's possible to maintain your personal standards without hurting people's feelings. Gift accepted; no big to-do, but no reason for whispered conferences and hiding things either.

Besides, without my cutter and lighter, it's not like I could smoke it....